We do not have time for this kind of silliness. We have better stuff to do. I have got better stuff to do. We have got big problems to solve...We are not going to be able to do it if we are distracted, we are not going to be able to do it if we spend time vilifying each other ... if we just make stuff up and pretend that facts are not facts, we are not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by side shows and carnival barkers.

-barack obama, in response to donald trump's birther accusations.


amen sir, amen.

beautiful and powerful - a video of/by my church family

Water too cold and too wide to be anything but the night sky.
They were fiery stars in orbit together;
Stars who exist for love of other stars.


-kt schmid

“Writing fiction is for me a fraught business, an occasion of daily dread for at least the first half of the novel, and sometimes all the way through. The work process is totally different from writing nonfiction. You have to sit down every day and make it up.” —Paris Review - The Art of Nonfiction No. 1, Joan Didion

opinion post on cnn. part soapbox, with good backup. i appreciated it.
by lz granderson

"I saw someone at the airport the other day who really caught my eye.

Her beautiful, long blond hair was braided back a la Bo Derek in the movie "10" (or for the younger set, Christina Aguilera during her "Xtina" phase). Her lips were pink and shiny from the gloss, and her earrings dangled playfully from her lobes.

You can tell she had been vacationing somewhere warm, because you could see her deep tan around her midriff thanks to the halter top and the tight sweatpants that rested just a little low on her waist. The icing on the cake? The word "Juicy" was written on her backside.

Yeah, that 8-year-old girl was something to see alright. ... I hope her parents are proud. Their daughter was the sexiest girl in the terminal, and she's not even in middle school yet.

Abercrombie & Fitch came under fire this spring for introducing the "Ashley," a push-up bra for girls who normally are too young to have anything to push up. Originally it was marketed for girls as young as 7, but after public outcry, it raised its intended audience to the wise old age of 12. I wonder how do people initiate a conversation in the office about the undeveloped chest of elementary school girls without someone nearby thinking they're pedophiles?

Push-up bikini controversy

What kind of PowerPoint presentation was shown to the Abercrombie executives that persuaded them to green light such a product?

That there was a demand to make little girls hot?

I mean, that is the purpose of a push-up bra, right? To enhance sex appeal by lifting up, pushing together and basically showcasing the wearer's breasts. Now, thanks to AF Kids, girls don't have to wait until high school to feel self-conscious about their, uhm, girls. They can start almost as soon as they're potty trained. Maybe this fall the retailer should consider keeping a plastic surgeon on site for free consultations.

We've been here with Abercrombie before -- if you recall, about 10 years ago they sold thongs for 10-year-olds -- but they're hardly alone in pitching inappropriate clothing to young girls. Four years ago the popular "Bratz" franchise introduced padded bras called "bralettes" for girls as young as six. That was also around the time the good folks at Wal-Mart rolled out a pair of pink panties in its junior department with the phrase "Who Needs Credit Cards" printed on the front.

I guess I've been out-of-the-loop and didn't realize there's been an ongoing stampede of 10-year-old girls driving to the mall with their tiny fists full of cash demanding sexier apparel.

What's that you say? Ten-year-olds can't drive? They don't have money, either? Well, how else are they getting ahold of these push-up bras and whore-friendly panties?

Their parents?

Noooo, couldn't be.

What adult who wants a daughter to grow up with high self-esteem would even consider purchasing such items? What parent is looking at their sweet, little girl thinking, "She would be perfect if she just had a little bit more up top."

And then I remember the little girl at the airport. And the girls we've all seen at the mall. And the kiddie beauty pageants.

And then I realize as creepy as it is to think a store like Abercrombie is offering something like the "Ashley", the fact remains that sex only sells because people are buying it. No successful retailer would consider introducing an item like a padded bikini top for kindergarteners if they didn't think people would buy it.

If they didn't think parents would buy it, which begs the question: What in the hell is wrong with us?

It's easy to blast companies for introducing the sexy wear, but our ire really should be directed at the parents who think low rise jeans for a second grader is cute. They are the ones who are spending the money to fuel this budding trend. They are the ones who are suppose to decide what's appropriate for their young children to wear, not executives looking to brew up controversy or turn a profit.

I get it, Rihanna's really popular. But that's a pretty weak reason for someone to dress their little girl like her.

I don't care how popular Lil' Wayne is, my son knows I would break both of his legs long before I would allow him to walk out of the house with his pants falling off his butt. Such a stance doesn't always makes me popular -- and the house does get tense from time to time -- but I'm his father, not his friend.

Friends bow to peer pressure. Parents say, "No, and that's the end of it."

The way I see it, my son can go to therapy later if my strict rules have scarred him. But I have peace knowing he'll be able to afford therapy as an adult because I didn't allow him to wear or do whatever he wanted as a kid.

Maybe I'm a Tiger Dad.

Maybe I should mind my own business.

Or maybe I'm just a concerned parent worried about little girls like the one I saw at the airport.

In 2007, the American Psychological Association's Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls issued a report linking early sexualization with three of the most common mental-health problems of girls and women: eating disorders, low self-esteem and depression. There's nothing inherently wrong with parents wanting to appease their daughters by buying them the latest fashions. But is getting cool points today worth the harm dressing little girls like prostitutes could cause tomorrow?

A line needs to be drawn, but not by Abercrombie. Not by Britney Spears. And not by these little girls who don't know better and desperately need their parents to be parents and not 40-year-old BFFs."

you guys.

i have to appreciate how forthright he is.

a little reality and much-needed sass from one mrs. huxtable (cosby show)

“Let me tell you something, Elvin. You see, I am not serving Dr. Huxtable, okay? That’s the kind of thing that goes on in a restaurant. Now I’m going to bring him a cup of coffee just like he brought me a cup of coffee this morning. And that, young man, is what marriage is made of - it is give and take, 50-50, and if you don’t get it together and drop these match attitudes, you’re never going to have anyone bring you anything anywhere any place any time ever. Now… what would you like in your coffee?”

M. Hartmann-

Today the Department of Education's Office for Civil Rights announced it will open an investigation of Yale University "for its failure to eliminate a hostile sexual environment on campus, in violation of Title IX." The Yale Herald reports that earlier this month, 16 Yale students and alumni filed a complaint with OCR, citing several public scandals, including Delta Kappa Epsilon's rape chant, and private cases of sexual harassment and assault. Current student Hannah Zeavin, one of three complainants who have gone public, say the atmosphere on campus, "precludes women from having the same equal opportunity to the Yale education as their male counterparts."

The complaint includes personal accounts from five students, along with descriptions of these well-publicized incidents:

Delta Kappa Epsilon pledges chanting "No means yes! Yes means anal!" on campus in October 2010.
A September 2009 "Preseason Scouting Report" email, which was written and circulated by a group of male students. The email ranked 53 freshman women in the order of how many beers it would take to have sex with them.
Pledges from Zeta Psi surrounding the entrance to the Yale Women's Center in January 2008 with signs that said "We Love Yale Sluts."
Fraternity members stealing t-shirts inscribed with accounts of sexual assaults from the Clothesline Project in 2005.

In a recent report, Yale said it was taking sexual misconduct seriously and outlined plans for more educational programs and clinical services. However, the complainants say this response is inadequate. In a press release published by the Yale Daily News, they explain:

The response does not address the need for disciplinary measures, nor does it address the threatening and assaultive language used by the DKE brothers, thereby failing to adequately address the hostile environment on campus.

Title IX charges were brought against Yale in the landmark 1980 case Alexander v. Yale over sexual harassment by male professors. In response, the University created the Grievance Board for Student Complaints of Sexual Harassment, which is still in use today. Complainant Alexandra Brodsky says that the problem is the Board tends to handle cases of sexual harassment internally rather than informing students of their legal options. She explains:

"There's this idea that it should stay all within the family, that Mom and Dad will take care of it and quietly reconcile it. They treat cases like they're these tiny skirmishes between brothers and sisters at Yale ... I think a lot of people who report first through the University end up sucked into Yale's internal labyrinth of reporting mechanisms."

Hannah Zeavin accuses the University of failing to prosecute the perpetrators of sexual violence. From The Yale Herald:

"Yale deliberately shields those who commit sexual harassment and rape from both the public eye and from the consequences of their actions," says Zeavin, who is distressed by the continued presence on campus of those who have been accused of sexual assault. "You cannot imagine what it is like to sit in class with the person who raped your best friend."

The 16 students and alumni insist they aren't "out to get" Yale, but say they don't want future generations of Yale women to have to deal with a campus culture that permits discrimination. Their statement concludes, "After all the incidents of blatant sexual harassment and threatening behavior on Yale's campus, why must it take an investigation by OCR to convince Yale that there is a serious problem on campus?"

simplicity

beautiful things. gungor.